Her Tears
by riddle-girl-lost
Summary: While the final battle was being fought and won, what was Merope doing in heaven? And what will she do afterwards? ONESHOT


**A/N; Here is my oneshot of what might have happened with Merope while she watched the final battle, and what she did afterwards. If you like, review. If you don't, review.**

**Disclaimer; I do not, in any way, own Harry Potter, the series, or any other character in the series. I also don't own Heaven, even though that'd be pretty cool.**

Merope backed away in horror, as she watched below, as her son battled the poor child with the black hair.

Tears ran down her plain face as she tried to comprehend what her son had become. A monster. How could this have happened?

She had watched him every day since his birth, her death. She watched him be slowly pulled towards evil, throughout his life. She watched him torture, manipulate, and kill.

Each action was a blow to her heart. And she knew it was her fault, all her fault. Had she lived...no, had she never tricked Tom, her dear husband, whom abandoned her. Whom their son killed.

She had wept as he first used an Unforgivable. As he killed for the first time. She had fallen to her knees in desperate sobs as he created the first Horcrux.

Tears trickled down her face while she watched, numbly, as her son tore apart family after family.

The breaking point had been the Potters. He had orphaned a little boy, and near killed him too. She was ashamed when she hoped he died that night, but she knew he hadn't.

It nearly killed her again as he ordered the death of another innocent, the night he returned.

She could barely look at his face after that. It was no longer the handsome double of his father's, but that of which appears in nightmares.

Merope was unable to look away as he wiped away the Potter boys loved ones, and his childhood. His rise to power was one that she could not stand to watch again, for she knew it was worse than the first time.

Slowly, she crawled forward, to look down upon the two battling. Finally, the Potter boy defeated her once son. She could never call him son, after watching his life, if you could call it that.

She would never meet him. His soul was too damaged to ever arrive in the After. And she was grateful for that. She would never have been able to face him.

She turned away from the celebrations, and she knew what she needed to do. She would start with the Potters, whose son hers had caused so much pain.

She walked wearily, slowly, but with a sort of strength, that was drawn from the fact that she knew she was doing the right thing. She realized that they may just slam the door in her face after hearing the apology, but she had to at least try.

Glancing around her she stared at the rows of little houses, and large ones, and realized that she had not ventured out of her own cottage since her death.

Nobody ever locked their doors, or closed their windows at night. Here, in the Ever After, life was good, safe. The good, the innocent, and many others came to reside here for eternity, in peace. Anyone evil, murderous, etc went down to the Infernal After, an immortal life of hell.

Merope jerked out of her thoughts abruptly as she stared down the street. There at the end of the row, just several houses down from hers, were the Potters.

Merope came upon their home, with their names on a sign placed neatly in front of the house. Pausing, she took a deep breath, and strode towards the front door.

Inside, she could hear people laughing and celebrating. Of course they would be, she thought sadly, their son was alive, good, a savior to wizards. Her son was the exact opposite.

Their cherry red door loomed closer as she walked forward, and finally she reached it. Lifting her hand, she hesitated, but only for a moment. Before she knew it, she had knocked neatly three times on the door.

Inside, she heard it quiet, but only for a moment, and some one called out. Hearing footsteps approach the door, Merope backed up a few steps, trying to reign in her desire to bolt back to the safety of her little brown cottage.

The door opened widely, and a smiling red haired woman appeared.

"Can I help you?" she asked cheerfully, Merope assumed from learning her son had finally conquered the dark lord.

Merope gave a small, yet very brief smile, as the seriousness of her task wormed its way through her mind.

"I'm sorry" she barely whispered, her voice lost to the wind.

The red haired woman leaned a bit closer.

"I'm sorry dear, I didn't quite catch that. What was that you said?" She asked still smiling widely.

Merope gathered up her courage, and lifting her head, to look the woman in the eyes, and said it loader, more clearly.

"I'm sorry".

The woman looked at her, clearly confused.

"Whatever for? Here, come on in, we were just celebrating" the woman opened the door a bit more, and gestured for Merope to come in.

Merope hesitated, but tentatively stepped onto the soft brown carpet, and followed the woman into the living room.

"Boys! We have company, so be-SIRIUS! GET OFF OF THAT TABLE NOW!" she finished with a yell.

Merope looked over interestedly. A black haired man was currently frozen in shock, and had evidently been using the table as a trampoline. Merope held back a snigger at the mans expression.

"Sorry Lily darling" he grinned and immediately got off the table and began to dust it off. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Hey, who've we got here?" Said another man from the couch. He had glasses, and looked much like the Potter boy. Must be his father.

"Oh! Sorry about that, guys this is..." she trailed off, and looked expectantly at Merope. She remembered she hadn't given Lily her name.

"Merope" She mumbled.

"Hi Mer! It's alright if I call you Mer, right?" The man who had been on the table beamed.

Merope flushed "Sure, if you want".

"I'm Sirius Black!" he announced. The woman rolled her eyes.

"I'm Lily Potter, and that's my husband, James over there" she nodded to the man with glasses, who grinned and waved at Merope. She gave a have wave back.

"Oi! Moony! We have company!" Sirius yelled. A scarred, brown haired man walked out of what Merope assumed to be the kitchen, holding bottles of firewhiskey.

"Hi, my names Remus, Remus Lupin" he said as he offered her a firewhiskey, which she quietly declined.

"So, when did you get here Mer?" asked Sirius, as he watched the celebrations below.

"Sirius! That's not very polite" scolded Lily. She turned to Merope and shrugged apologetically.

"It's alright" Merope said, "I actually got here, maybe 70, 80 years ago, somewhere around there".

"Sirius whistled. "That's a while. How did you-". He was cut short by a fierce glare from Lily and Remus.

The reason you didn't go around asking people how they died was because it could have been painful, or long, or both. It's just something you didn't ask, out of courtesy to others.

"Sorry about Padfoot, he's just a little hyped up from the celebrations. Our son, Harry, he just defeated the darkest wizard in history" James said, puffing up with pride.

But that statement reminded Merope of the reason why she was here.

"I have to tell you something about that" she said, quietly. They looked at her, rather puzzled.

"What do you mean? Voldemort was after your time" said Lily.

"I need to say, I'm sorry. I'm sorry because this whole war, this mess, is all my fault" Merope whispered. The room went silent.

"How can it be your fault?" asked Remus uncertainly.

Merope was silent, staring at the floor, but only for a moment.

"If it wasn't for me, all this never would have happened. You wouldn't be here now, Harry would be a normal child, and so many people would have normal lives. Everyone would have been so much happier if I hadn't..." her voice faltered then died off. The room was completely silent.

"What did you do that was so horrible, what did you that caused Voldemort to get to power?" asked James, staring at her.

Sirius was having mixed emotions. He had to feel sorry for this girl, for her enormous, yet mysterious guilt. But he was also a bit angry. She had said she was the cause of this whole mess. What did she do to help Voldemort?

Remus was surprised. This was a young girl, probably barely of age, and she seemed to have the idea she was the cause of Voldemorts rise. Why would she think that?

Lily was looking her over, hard. She went over the tearful girl's words in her head, trying to figure out what Merope wasn't saying. A very likely suspicion creeped into her mind and she gave a small gasp.

"Merope...you aren't? He isn't?" she sat next to the girl on the couch. Merope looked up at her, her plain dull eyes glinting with tears.

Merope nodded, then burst into sobs.

Lily leaned over and hugged her, patting her back, and murmuring words, telling her it wasn't her fault.

The men in the room were thoroughly confused.

"Lils, what is it?" asked James.

Lily let go of Merope and they both looked up at him. Lily glanced at her, and Merope nodded.

"Tom is my son".

James looked at her in shock. Here was this nice, if plain, young girl, who turned out to be the mother of the darkest wizard of all time. How the bloody hell was that possible?

Remus looked at her thoughtfully. Now that she had said it, her earlier words made more sense. Of course she would blame herself for her son's choices and fate. But it wasn't like she chose him to be her son, although, things might have been different if she hadn't died. How did she anyway?

Sirius was again, having mixed emotions. Voldemorts mother was sitting on his best friends couch. VOLDEMORTS mother. Maybe it was her fault. If she hadn't had that bastard, Harry would be happier. Harry would have had his parents. But she couldn't help what her son was like...but still...

Merope cringed back into the corner of the couch. Squeezing her eyes closed, she expected to hear shouts of anger, of blame. But none came. So she opened one eye, and saw only faces of shock, and sympathy.

Remus made the first move, walking over to sit on her other side.

"It's not your fault. It's not like you could help what your son chose to make of his life" he said quietly.

"But it is" Merope hiccupped.

"Then tell us the whole story" said James. All but Sirius gathered closer around her.

"It started when I fell in love, with a muggle man, Tom Riddle Sr" she began, and explained how she waited until her father and brother were taken to Azkaban before she slipped him a love potion, and how they ran off together.

She went on to tell how Tom left her after she couldn't take giving him a potion anymore (Lily scowled at that; what man would abandon his pregnant wife? Even if she did trick him), and how she sold the locket and arrived at the orphanage.

"...after I gave birth, I just decided he would have a better life at the orphanage, than with me. At least there I could be sure he was fed, and had an education, and a place to take care of him. So I just, let go. I left him, when I should have stayed" she finished lowering her head.

The room was quiet. Sirius had gradually migrated over to where the others were sitting. After hearing what she had to say, he couldn't exactly blame her anymore. After a life like that, he'd probably want to give up too.

"It wasn't your fault Merope. Anyone in that position, even me, would want to give up" Lily said quietly.

"But I did! I could have healed myself, gotten food, a job, something! I could have used my magic anytime, but I was selfish enough to not want to. I never even gave a thought to how my child would grow up without me. I only cared about myself and my self pity" Merope moaned.

"Lily is right. You'd just been left by the one man you'd loved most in the world. You're heart was broken, and you were left alone and penniless, of course you would be depressed. I can't bear to think of what would happen to me if Dora left. At least you tried to help him in the end, by giving him a sort of home" Remus said.

"But I-" started Merope again, but she was cut off by Sirius.

"No! You mustn't blame yourself for the way Tom turned out. It was him who made those choices to become what he was now, not you, him! Did you tell him to become a dark minded, murderous little son of a banshee? No! Did you tell him to rip apart his soul, and kill innocent people? NO! For Merlins sake Merope, just admit it. It was not you're fault!"

Sirius was shaking by the end of his long-winded rant. Everyone stared at him in shock. Finally, James cleared his throught and asked "Er...does anyone fancy some Butterbeers?"

After the glasses had been cleared away, Merope started to think more about Sirius's words. And came to a decision.

"Thank you for letting me stay over" she said to Lily and James.

"It was no problem. Maybe you could come over some other time, under less depressing circumstances" Lily smiled. Merope returned it.

"I've decided to accept that, while it was not my fault directly, I was still kind of at fault. I should have thought it over more. I could have left Tom there for the time being, while I got a job, or found some other option. But the past is past" she sighed.

Sirius came over and hugged her.

"Good for you, coming to that decision. I was afraid we'd have to do something drastic" he grinned. He was happy to see she wasn't crying anymore.

"But I do still feel guilty. I need to make things right, so I'm going to find the others that Tom...well, you know, and apologize to them as well, even if it does take a while. I need to get this off my conscience" Merope said.

"You're still welcome at mine and Dora's house if you want to visit, I'm sure she'd like to meet you" said Remus.

Sirius nodded. "And of course, mine too. You'd like my brother, Regulus. But off course, you'd only come for me first, or else" Sirius mock threatened. Merope laughed.

"Thanks you guys. I'll be sure to visit all of you"

Then, waving good-bye to them, she turned, and walked out the door, to find all of those who deserved an apology for what became of them.

And for the first time, in years, there were no more tears on her face.


End file.
